Saturday, September 09, 2006

A Transfer Story

I've just been released from bedrest from my very strict husband. He wouldn't let me anywhere near the computer, and I left my laptop at work.

We transferred two 7-celled embryos yesterday. The RE didn't grade them in terms of quality, but everyone said they looked really good and I thought they looked quite beautiful in their picture, which I will try to post later. H thought they looked like very round cartoon heads, like Peanuts characters, so we are calling them Charlie and Sally Brown.

Of the rest of the six, 2 hadn't grown at all, one was at 2 cells, and the other was at 3 cells. They said they'd watch them until Monday to see if they catch up and grow into blasts. My clinic only freezes blasts.

Up to this point, I felt I had gotten through the many tests, shots, procedures, and examinations with a good deal of grace and minimal-to-no whining. I've been surprised at how well my body has taken all of it. Guess I was saving it for the transfer. My bladder was so full and painful that the nurse had to let me empty it a little twice before transfer began (In my defense, they were 15 minutes behind with my appointment, and I arrived with the full bladder right on time.)

There were a total of 4 people in the tiny room in addition to me and H, and I had met NONE of them before, except for the embriologist, who had delivered the bad news about H's sperm sample to me at retrieval. I liked her because she has the same name as me and she was the only person I knew there at the moment. I couldn't help but think that she was a little too young to be handling my unborn children, but we'll see. The doctor performing the transfer was a young female also, and she was supervised by the typical older male RE I'm used to. I'm hoping that having a "woman's touch" is a good thing. The extra women in the room did manage to put me a little more at ease.

I was in a lot of pain when they put the catheter in and the nurse pushed on my stomach. That bladder was really unhappy. The whole thing was over quickly, but my stomach was so cramped and I had to pee so bad that it felt like an eternity. I couldn't watch the monitor. H had his head in the way, and I didn't even consider asking him to move. I just stared at the dim overhead lightbulb and tried to keep my whimpering to a minimum. I hope that my miserable state of being at the moment of transfer did not make a bad first impression for Sally and Charlie.

After I was able to empty my bladder, I felt better but was still very crampy. We had a long drive home, so we sang along to a selection of songs I picked out on the Ipod to make our embies see we are fun-loving, happy, relaxed people that they could feel at home with. A little Bob Marley and OAR did the trick.

I got home, had some Popeyes fried chicken with H, and then slept for 4 hours. It was a very deep sleep, and I woke up feeling sweaty and a little gross. I was a good patient and had my dinner and bed, and we started to watch Scary Movie 4 around 9 pm, thinking some laughs would also be good for the embies. Our spirits were very high, and it was the happiest I'd seen H in weeks.

Not 5 minutes into the movie, H's mom called to tell us his grandmother (H's father's mom) had passed away. Goodbye positive mood. H's grandmother was 95 and has been "ready" for several years now, according to her own words. We were all prepared for this to happen soon, but H was still very shaken up, understandably. MIL did not remember that we had transfer today, and H reminded her. She didn't really say anything about it. Part of me wishes she could have waited until morning to call us--it was such an emotional day as it was and it was late. Ending the day on that note was very difficult.

We will make the long drive to the funeral on Tuesday or Wednesday this week. I am bracing myself to see H's family. Seeing them is not good for me this week because of all the stress they cause. I removed my earlier post explaining my issues with them because it had too many specific details that I know they'd recognize if they stumble onto my blog. I just hope I can get through this without them saying anything innappropriate that will set me off.

I'm hoping my little embies will have locked in tight by the time I see everyone. Concern for their well being should allow me to maintain a Zen-like state through this.


Lisa said...

Emmie - I'm so glad H released you from bedrest;-). I've been thinking of you lots.
Congrats on the transfer. I can't get over the similarities in our paths. Although I was plagued with intestinal problems after my IVF cycle, I felt I did okay until transfer day when I had to arrive with a full bladder. As I could neither stand nor lie, the doctor was called in and gave me permission to empty my bladder for 5 seconds (a welcome eternity when full). After a few minutes I was back slumped over with pain and granted permission for another 5 second release. Unfortunately I remained uncomfortable during the procedure with the nurse pushing down on my tummy.
I'm sorry to hear about H's grandmom. At 95 I sure hope she lived a full and wonderful life.
As you know, this 2WW is a critical part of your cycle and limiting your stress is paramount. For whatever it's worth, you may want to try some visual imagery when you see the family. Envision being encased within an invisible bubble (barrier if you will) and anything negative simply bounces right off it and does not affect you. I'm betting after some tries with this you'll find your reaction to their instigations has diminished and you'll be left with an ongoing feeling of peace, not to mention empowerment. I swear this can work!
I'm wishing you the best of luck for those sweet embies inside you as well as the remaining ones that they grow to blast stage for freezing. Take care.

chloe said...

Glad to hear that you got through the transfer and hopefully the symptoms will subside.

I know this next statement will sound weird, but H's grandmother's passing may be symbolic of the new life that may be growing in you. When my sister got pregnant with her son, her FIL past away a few weeks after. My grandmother said his spirit would be part of the baby's. (I don't believe in reincarnation but I think it speaks to the cycle of life, that with an ending, a beginning is around the corner.)

Hope your 2WW flies by!

GLouise said...

Glad that you are done with transfer, and that you transferred two!

How sad to hear about H's grandmother on the same day as the transfer...Take care of yourself and those little embies!

StellaNova said...

I'm sorry you have had this bad news,but I have everything crossed for your little bubbles. Wishing you Zen thoughts.

Motel Manager said...

I'm so sorry to hear about H's grandmother!

I'm glad, however, that your ET has occurred. On to the long and boring wait! What day is your beta?

Stick, embryos, stick!

luolin said...

Good luck, Emmie.

Hope548 said...

I'm glad the transfer went relatively well and that you had good blasts to put in! I hope the others come around so you can freeze a few, you know, for when you want even more children!

So sorry to hear about H's grandmother. I hope the funeral and family don't create too much stress for you. Take care!

aah0424 said...

Good luck, Emmie and thank you for the description of how the precedure went.

I'm also very sorry for your family's loss. I think what Chloe said is so true. My grandfather passed away when my mom was pregnant with my little brother. My grandmother has always felt a special connection with him and says she sees a lot of my grandfather's personality in him.