Thursday, September 14, 2006

Expanding My Circle

Yesterday I outted myself to a friend at work when she was talking with me about how the funeral went and I just couldn't hold all my frustration inside. (She asked a question that allowed me to very naturally tell her--it wasn't something I would just spring.) She was really great and supportive about it, and I'm glad to have another friend to turn to when days get rough. I certainly could never be completely out about it to everyone, but telling someone who cares and emphasizes really helps to take some of the burden off keeping everything inside. So far I've been able to tell which friends I can and should tell, and which ones I shouldn't. No matter what though, H and I are not sharing the time range or details of any future IVF cycle. It's too hard. Some days I don't mind telling my parents stuff, and others I find it unbearable.

I know my mom wants to know if we have any frozen embryos, and that's the kind of thing I just don't want to discuss with people right now, other than my friends in blogworld. Well, the lab said they would call me if we still had embryos by Tuesday, and they didn't call. Maybe I should call to make sure, but considering they were only 2 and 3 cell embies at day 3, I really doubt it. I'm a little sad that our 6 embies really didn't grow fast--I was more optimistic about a 5 day transfer. But slow and steady can win the race, let's hope my little ones are still inside and dividing. They should have implanted by now, right?

I'm feeling better today about the whole MIL drama. I just need to stop letting ignorant people get to me. I'm sticking to the no unwanted visits this month policy.

I'm signing off for two week wait hell is to be continued in a sunnier, hopefully happier location as I head off on a business trip tomorrow. I won't be back until 12dp3dt (Wednesday night). Trying to decide whether I will POAS the morning I come home. Would that be too early? I have the sticks packed just in case.


VanillaDreams said...

Well, I am a POAS addict, so perhaps NOT the best advisor in this situation! LOL ;)

But, in my experience, I have always POAS like crazy for each cycle, and I have seen + HPT's as early as 6dp3dt and 8dp3dt, respectively. Also, my betas are always at 12dp3dt. Sooo, if you were thinking of POAS the morning of 12dp3dt, I really don't think that's too soon. When is your beta scheduled?

Good luck during this 2WW.

Take care,

Hope548 said...

I'm so glad you found someone else you can talk to about infertility who will be supportive! I hope you have a good business trip and stay busy so the rest of the 2ww goes by quickly and painlessly!

Heather said...

Hope your trip went well. If you got back last night that means you P'd OAS this morning, right?! Please don't leave me hanging. I'm so hope-filled for you!!!

Lisa said...

Emmie - I'm glad you have a new shoulder to lean on when times are rough. My husband and I chose to keep our cycle to ourselves except for telling a couple of friends each. It's added pressure otherwise. I eventually had to tell one of my bosses due to nosy people starting to wonder where I'd head off to at any odd time.
As to your question about implantation: It ususally occurs 6-10 days following retrieval. Also they generally want to do a beta blood test to check for a positive.
Good for you sticking to your boundary about visits this month.
Enjoy your business trip. I hope the sunshine helps a bit.

Jamie said...

I am sorry about your other embies. I would have to call and make sure -- but I am obessive like that. :)

No, I do not think 12dp3dt is too early. From what I have read in blogland and on and it is very unlikely you will get a positive if it is not positive at 10dp3dt or at the very latest 11dp3dt (but that isn't to say it hasn't ever happened, because it has... but usually that is the case).

Have fun on your business trip!

steph said...

The 'to tell or not to tell' battle is ongoing for us. We are pretty close with family and told them all about IVF1. When that failed, including NO embies to freeze, it was hard to tell everyone. Then we decided to go for an entire new cycle and asked for donations to the fertility fund - Birthdays, Christmas, any gift giving moment turned into a telethon for money! They all knew we were going again, so it was hard not to talk about it. So I started the blog and told anyone interested to quit asking me about it and read. I can be more honest in writing and don't have to repeat myself over and over. I figure it's also a good way to break the news if it's bad. If it's good, I'll be on the phone for days!!!
The important thing is to keep your boundaries. Your MIL sounds like an attention seeker. Also sounds like you have it pretty under control! Hope everything works out. I'll be checking back to see if your 2ww if fruitful!

NikkiNix said...

Enjoy the trip, hope the distraction helps the time fly by :)

Jamie said...

I hope you are having some fun on your business trip and not stressing about the 2ww too much. I am anxiously awaiting your return and the results. :)

BTW: Tag, your it! See my blog for details!

Melissa said...

I'm so glad you found someone else you can talk to about this all. I tend to be almost too open about it all and it's so hard for me when I'm "out" to someone who turns out to be a complete jerk about it. (Like my coworkers who I overheard talking about how I'm too young for IVF and haven't tried long enough and how L is justified in doing so cause she's older and been married longer...)Anyway...another story for another day. point is...It's nice to have someone who, although they may not truly understand, is completely sympathetic to the situation. Keep us all posted!

Alli said...

Oh, Emmie! {{hugs}} Hope all is well in your sunny 2ww world and that you are able to have some fun. I don't blame you for not wanting to shout to the world about all of it - it's too hard - but I'm glad you were able to confide in someone who can be there for you when you need it.

Come back soon!! :)