Monday, April 30, 2007

A Very Special Date

My C-section is scheduled for May 8 if the babies don't arrive before then. I can't believe I will meet them one week from tomorrow!!!!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Open Sesame?

I had a really good day yesterday. My body felt the best it had in two weeks. H was home by lunchtime with me so we could go to my OB appointment. I was excited to see what kind of progress I was making, because I had been feeling so lousy lately.

Last week, the OB I saw had said the outer portion of my cervix was just the teeniest bit open, while the inside remained tightly shut. She said she had expected me to be more open by this point. Last week, I felt this lock down was good news, but seeing as I'm now almost 36 weeks, I was now hoping to hear that the cervix might be starting to open a bit. I mean, I had a really bad week. Surely something must have been going on, even if there were no real contractions?

I also decided walking into this appointment that I was going to be a little more assertive about wanting to schedule a C-section rather than waiting to have one sprung on me at the last minute. Well, the OB I saw yesterday was the one I've seen the most, and she has been very pro-vaginal delivery with me since day one. So when I started to explain my reasons for why I'd at least like to have a section scheduled for my 37th week in case I haven't gone into labor by then, she had a counter-argument for every point I made.

That is, until she examined me. My cervix is still closed super tight. She said given my overstretched uterus and the fact that Baby B is breech again, putting me in the books for a C-section at 37 weeks probably is a good idea. The fact that I show no sign of opening up despite how far Baby A is crammed into my pelvis tells her that vaginal labor might just not work for me. The uterus itself may already be too stretched to contract properly. So, Monday I will find out when they have scheduled me. If I go into labor before then or if my cervix changes, we can always still try the vaginal delivery. I felt really good knowing that I'll at least have an end date in sight.

The OB said the babies are huge and I definitely won't be having premature babies at this point. So, I'm very grateful that the boys probably won't spend time in the NICU, so long as there are no other unforeseen complications. My cervix has done its job--it can stop being an over-achiever now. Knowing how big and strong the babies are, and how worn out my body is, I'd love for them to just come on out now. I'm ready to meet them face to face at last.

After feeling so physically good yesterday, I feel lousy again today. Oh well. I'm hoping they schedule me for sooner than later during my 37th week.

Friday, April 27, 2007


Since I sense the end is near, I wanted to let everyone know that Jamie over at Sticky Feet will have the first news of the twin's arrival when it happens. So, when you see I haven't posted in a few days, you might find she has the (hopefully good) news. Thank you, Jamie!

I do intend to keep posting regularly after the boys are born; I just don't know how soon I'll be at my computer right afterwards. It always makes me sad when I follow someone's journey from diagnosis to pregnancy to birth and then they disappear forever, so I'm going to do my best to keep up as always. Besides, who else will I be able to tell my nightmare MIL stories and TMI reports to?

Speaking of TMI...does my colon know something I don't? My goodness--I have had so many bowel movements the past two days I could cry. Wait... I have cried. The hemorrhoids, which had been getting better, just can't handle this mass evacuation. I swear, I go immediately after I eat anything! I've been regular this whole pregnancy, and I'm not eating that much these days (no room), so I have no idea where all this sh** is coming from. Oh, my poor rear. I'd be posting a lot more if it weren't for the fact that sitting is so painful, and I need to use my time wisely to work. My boss still wants me to try to work for as long as possible next week, but I really feel like Monday should be my last day. We'll see what the doctor says today. Even though I'm working from home, not being able to sit is a real problem.

On to more pleasant things...I had a commentor ask about my nursery decor, so here's some pictures of it in the early stages.

We now have our glider/recliner in from La.Z.Boy and H has put in a cute white ceiling fan/light so that the baby death trap halogen lamp has been moved back to the living room where it belongs. We still have to hang things on the walls...that's been a big point of debate because both sets of our parents gave us personalized wall hangings with the babies' *possible* names despite the fact that we told them over and over not to give us anything personalized until the babies were here and officially named. Wwhile we are 99% sure these are the names we will use, we were both still upset they did this because we felt like they were jinxing us. I mean, what if something happens??? Besides, we kept telling them the names were tentative. Ugh. MIL keeps saying we have to use the one name we've proposed because it was her great-grandfather's name. Uh, so? We didn't know that when we picked it, so it's not like we were trying to name the baby after anybody. When I'm feeling cranky I just feel like changing their names entirely just to prove a point. Not very mature or motherly of me.

Anyhow, I'll try to post a picture of the nursery when it's complete this weekend.
Must go now--my allotted sitting time is up...

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Pain, Pain, Pain...

Yesterday I said my days alternate between pretty good and really bad. Well, today is really, really bad. I haven't had a back ache since the second trimester (not quite sure why it went away as I got bigger), but today it is back with a vengeance. Plus my belly is so heavy that the pressure on my pelvic area/rectum is almost unbearable. I know these could be signs of impending labor, but I've had no contractions or any other signs. In fact, the b-hicks contractions have really backed off the past two weeks. Maybe my poor uterus is just too stretched to contract much anymore. :(

On that note, I've been giving a lot of thought to requesting a C-section. My neighbor had her twins via C-section last week, and though she really did not want to have one originally, she said it was much, much better than her first singleton, vaginal delivery. H brought her and her husband dinner last night, and she was up and about and looking fine. H did note that she still looked like she was 6-months pregnant, but at least her pregnancy aches and pains were gone. Right now, I am in so much pain that the thought of having a quick C-section delivery without experiencing contractions or any other tearing down below sounds lovely. TMI WARNING--My hemorrhoids are so bad today that I can't imagine pushing out two babies so close to that super-sensitive area. Now, I have these hemorrhoids simply from the weight of my uterus pressing down on me, because I've had no constipation this entire pregnancy. Can you imagine what will happen once I start pushing? I feel like my intestines will come out with the babies. Sorry, not pleasant, I know.

Anyhow, speaking of my neighbor and her newborn twins, H came back from visiting them absolutely giddy and glowing. And one of the first things out of his mouth was--We're going to have to have more babies. I love H. I love that he loves kids, especially babies, so much. I hate that IF has made family building so hard for us, while my friends who are ambivalent about kids get knocked up so easily and then cry about it. I'm so grateful H and I are having these two babies, and I pray they will be delivered safe and sound. Even if it means the utter destruction of my arse and nether regions.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

35 Weeks!

If I could move, I'd do a happy dance!

I seem to alternate between having pretty good and really bad days lately. I can handle that. Today so far seems pretty good. The discomforts are always there, but some days they are just more intense than others.

I've had a bag sorta packed for the hospital ever since I started getting bad braxton-hicks contractions, but now I feel like I really need to prepare it. I find it funny that books I'm reading recommend bringing some make-up with you. My routine for the past few weeks has consisted of nothing but hemorrhoid creme, shea butter lotion, and colorless lip balm. And to think I never used to let people see me without a full face of makeup. Anyone who shows up to the hospital after my delivery is going to be in for a big surprise!

I've officialy hit the 50 lb weight gain mark. I still feel that it's mostly all in my belly. I'm a little scared to think about what my belly is going to look like after delivery, especially after watching that sextuplet special on TLC. I've never been a big believer in plastic surgery, but if my belly looks anywhere near as bad as hers did then I'd have to rethink my position. I know your belly won't go back to the way it was, and I can deal with having a small pooch forevermore, but I don't think I could face all those wrinkled folds of drooping flesh. Any twin moms out there want to share their belly experiences post delivery?

Overall I'm getting really excited about meeting these babies. I'm still scared, especially about the pains of delivery and my ability to care for two infants at once, but I figure I'll get through it if I've been able to handle being out of commission for two months now. I'm a very active person by nature, so I'm sure being able to move around again, especially to tend to these very-wanted babies, will feel amazing.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Why I Shouldn't Watch TLC

Since I've been trapped at home for the past two months, I've been watching a lot more TV on the weekends with H than I normally would. Skimming through the online TV guide, I find myself drawn to TLC's line up of shows like it's a train wreck. First there are a million episodes of a Baby Story (I always seem to tune in just in time for the close-up of a C-section), then there's that show about the little people who have twin boys, Little People, Big World (my God, if a 4-foot little person can have twins I really need to suck up my pain!) and then the worst--Surviving Sextuplets and Twins.

Of course we had to watch. How does one have sextuplets and twins? Well, through fertility treatments, of course. The title is misleading--the twins, not the sextuplets, came first, through a round of IUI. They didn't say it out right, but it appears the sextuplets were also the result of an IUI. H thought this was pure craziness--what had the RE been thinking? Since they were successful with twins the first time, weren't they monitoring the number of her follicles more carefully so that excessive multiples wouldn't happen? I don't know; the show didn't seem to care about those details. H felt that this was the type of program that gave people without a clue about IF a bad impression about fertility treatments and the people who use them--the desperate designation. (Wouldn't you know that even the show synopsis calls the couple "desperate to have children.")

Well, watching this couple go through pregnancy with the sextuplets and then cope with 8 little babies in all opened a lot of discussion between me and H about our own IF experience. I have to say, seeing a woman pregnant with sextuplets after already having twins, her belly stretched beyond imagination, made me feel like a royal wimp over my own aches and pains. (She could actually smile when showing her 54-inch belly! And to think mine is only 43 inches.) Her enthusiasm was not enough to make me think I'd ever be able to go the multiple route again myself, though. If H and I ever try IVF again, I am pretty sure I will only transfer 1 embryo. I have absolutely no regrets about transferring two this first time, and I am so, so happy they both took, but I don't think my body could handle multiples a second time.

H, who said he'd never do fertility treatments at the beginning of our diagnosis, has gone from saying we should only transfer 1 embryo the first time (he was convinced by me and the doc to put back our two), to saying he'd be willing to put back 3 if we tried a second time and had three embryos of equal quality. Wha??????? Now, I'm very glad H has come around to being more accepting of IVF and the multiple "risks" involved, but there is no way I could put back three. Not only would it be bad for me, I'd be even more worried about the health of three if they all took. I'm touched H is willing to give IVF another try with me--he was so against it in the beginning that I think his change of heart shows how much experiencing a pregnancy has meant to him. I am so happy I've been able to give him that. Experiencing the pregnancy together has been wonderful. But I'm the one who probably wouldn't go through IVF again at this point.

My reason--none of our embryos were able to make it to blast before transfer, and we only had 2 that showed promise. Which meant we had to transfer both of those two or else we'd be sacrficing one of them (my clinic won't freeze anything less than a blast). Knowing that both took in this last case, I couldn't make that sacrifice if I were faced with the same situation in round two. So yes, we'd have to transfer two again. And of course both might not take--none might take at all. But I don't think I could put myself at risk for multiples again. At least, now is not the time to talk to me about it as I'm crippled by the pain of this current pregnancy.

It's not just about the pain, either. It's about all the risks to the twins themselves. The fears of prematurity and other complications. The things I didn't realize when I first saw those two beautiful sacs on the ultrasound screen. I wanted this. I wanted twins before IF was even an issue. Asking for more doesn't feel right.

Knowing that this will probably be our only go round with infants then, H is very eager to make the most of every moment with our baby boys when they arrive. He is way more into itty bitty babies than I am. I'm more of an "age 3 and up" kind of gal. As a result, H made the decision this weekend to apply for FMLA at work in order to be home an entire month with me after the boys are born. This is a little scary, as it means no income at all for us for awhile, but I am so lucky to have a partner who wants to be so involved in our babies' lives. I think it will be a wonderful month, even if all we eat is mac and cheese for a while. :)

Thursday, April 19, 2007

A Little Better

I had another check-up with my OB today and this time it was much less painful than last week. I think having back-to-back appointments with the peri and the OB is what did me in last time--there were a total of three people prodding my belly for extended periods of time trying to get measurements.

Today, Baby A had his head down and back in my pelvis where it belongs, and Baby B was transverse with his head tilted downwards as far as it could go. My OB said this was as close as I could get to having both babies in a heads-down position, so talk of a vaginal birth possibility is back on. So, that's exciting. I think.

When she checked my cervix, she said the outer part was the tiniest bit open (about the size of a fingertip), but the inner cervix was still closed tight. This is the first I've heard of this inner/outer business. She said this was still good and that she would actually expect me to be a little more open at this point anyway. So, everything is okay, I guess.

Since I didn't feel like I had been beat up afterwards, H and I went to a very nice restaurant for lunch afterwards--somewhere we probably won't be going for awhile once we have the babies. It was a nice treat as most of our post-doctor appointment meals these days have consisted of chain restaurants where babies abound.

Some very good news is that H's dad had his prostate surgery yesterday and it went very well. No cancer was detected in his lymph nodes and everything was confined to the prostate gland, which was removed. He was alert and talking on the phone a few hours after the surgery. I think he gets to come home tomorrow. I'm still baffled by them wanting to come visit this weekend...a 4-hour drive can't be good for him right now during the recovery period, which is 4-6 weeks. But it doesn't matter--they're not coming at H's request.

There are a few gripes I've been wanting to voice about MIL in this whole situation, but I've been trying to keep it to myself in the spirit of focusing on what matters--FIL's health and the health of our babies. I could tell MIL upset H earlier in the week when she called to talk about FIL's surgery, but he kept the details to himself so that it it wouldn't stress me out too. I know she was pressuring H to make the 4-hour drive up to be with her during FIL's surgery. I think she was put out when he explained that he can't leave me for that long right now, plus he has to work overtime as it is in order to be able to go with me to my doctor's appointments each week. I can't drive myself anymore, but he also likes to be there with me in the appointments to see the babies. H elaborated the other day that MIL threw back that FIL didn't attend a single appointment with her throughout any of her pregnancies. Well, she didn't go through IF did she, or have a high-risk pregnancy, or have weekly ultrasounds and checks for premature labor. It bugs me that she would criticize H for being an involved dad before the babies are even born.
It seems like she really only sees good in what H does when she benefits from it. She also keeps saying "Emmie is pregnant, not sick." Yes, that's true. But since my particular condition in this pregnancy is probably harder on my body than illness at the moment, I really do rely on H being around to take care of me. I mean, I can barely walk and I'm on modified bed rest! Okay, enough. I need to learn to make it work with MIL somehow.

Hope everyone is having a good day!

Friday, April 13, 2007

34 Weeks!

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement in response to my last post. This great community of support has meant so much to me.

I'm thrilled to be at 34 weeks today, and I'm also scared. According to my docs, these babies will most likely be here within the next 2-3 weeks. They won't let me go past 38 weeks (which would be May 15), and my OB thinks my body might only make it to 36 (which would be May 1). I'm still shooting for May 7. Let's see how well these boys listen to their mom.

I'm still in a lot of pain, but my fear that I won't know what to do once the babies actually arrive seems to take my mind off of it. H and I have never been around newborns. We've never changed a diaper, other than on the baby dolls provided to us in our infant care class. I know the whole world is going to change for us in a few weeks, and that after a short time everything will become second nature, but I'm terrified of those first two weeks at home.

So, let's go back to focusing on the pain. My trip to the OB and peri on Friday could be compared to the graphic torture scenes J.ack B.auer conducts on least that's how they felt to me. I once eagerly anticipated these appointments to see the babies and ensure that my cervix was shut (even if that part hurt a little). Friday's examinations truly felt like cruel and unusual punishment. First, being on my back for as long as it took to get ultrasound measurements almost made me pass out because I couldn't breathe. Then, the ultrasound tech kept pushing so hard into my belly that my skin felt like it was going to rip open or burst into flames. The babies were highly active during the appointments, which also made everything very painful as I was pummeled both inside and out. Even though the peri did a thorough ultrasound, my OB wanted to take her own look at the babies when I got to her office, so I got to go through the whole thing twice. She was a little more gentle, thank goodness, until it came time to shake hands with my cervix, which is still closed up tight.

The good news is that the babies are doing really well. They each weigh about 5 1/2 pounds (that's 11 pounds of baby in me!), which surprised the peri and the OB. Evidently they are in the 50th percentile for singleton babies and are very large for twins at 34 weeks. The most interesting part is that despite their large size, they still have room to be extremely active. In fact, I got to watch sadly during the first ultrasound as Baby A, who has been head down and ready to go this whole pregnancy, scooted himself out of position and joined his head up against Baby B's. It looked like they were whispering to each other, conspiring for me to have a C-section rather than a vaginal delivery. The peri and OB were very surprised that my uterus is large enough to allow them to move at all this late in the game. We're hopeful that Baby A will go back to his head down position, but now the word C-section is starting to be thrown around a lot more. It doesn't really matter, but they've been talking vaginal delivery for so long now based on Baby A that I'd been mentally preparing myself for that route.

I asked the peri if it was a problem that the babies still have so much room to move, and he said everything was perfectly fine with them. It's just unusual. Evidently my uterus is providing these guys with a 2-bedroom suite when they should be sharing a 1-bedroom efficiency. What can I say? I'm a good hostess.

I shared my latest symptoms with my OB--the itchy back, the underbelly pain, the hemorroids, the occasional cramps and nausea--and she said that I'm just showing the signs of a woman who would be considered past her due date with a singleton baby. She had a lot of pity in her eyes. As long as everything is okay, I can handle the pain a little longer.

I just wonder--when I have these babies, will my body feel better at all, or will the postpartum pains be just as bad or worse? Will I be able to get out of bed without my knees buckling from the weight? I understand that I will have some serious soreness in whatever area these babies decide to exit from, but will I at least be able to move again within a week or two? I feel like I'll be able to handle the sleep deprivation if I can just have most of my mobility back. Despite my fears, I can't wait to care for these babies. I want to make sure my beat-up body can handle it.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

My State of Three Beings

Today is 33 weeks--yippee! I keep coaching the babies and my uterus, asking for one more week after another. I have to admit though, now that I'm in a lot of pain it's hard to be as much of a motivational speaker.

The following is for my ongoing symptom documentation--not a ploy for gaining sympathy. Knowing that I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy makes me sad, because I know I might not ever experience it again.

I started feeling pretty bad last Thursday. I think up until then I had merely been inconvenienced by my lack of mobility and my excessive fatigue, but it was nothing that actually physically hurt me. I mean, if I couldn't stand or walk for more than a few moments, I'd sit or lay down. I'd enjoy feeling the babies move while I read a book or settled in for a nap. And I'd be fine. I didn't mind getting up a million times a night to stretch and pee, because I could still get up fairly easily and then fall back asleep. Now, however, I'm starting to feel the true discomforts of a twin pregnancy. Sitting, standing, and laying down all hurt now, quite a bit. I dream of being immersed in a pool, but it's still too cold and what would I wear?

When I sit, my gigantic belly presses hard into my thighs and sticks to them, cutting off circulation and causing an itchy little heat rash. I find I've started sitting with my legs spread a la Sh.aron Ston.e style more and more often, and my belly actually rests itself on the seat. When my MIL commented this weekend that she didn't think I was carrying low, I had to laugh. How much lower could I possibly go? All the nurses and doctors comment on how low I'm carrying every time I see them. Baby A's head is rammed into my pelvis. The upside to it is that I've never had heartburn. And from what I hear, that's a pretty big positive!

My belly skin burns like you would not believe. Now the skin on my back has been itching me like crazy all week. H has examined it and said there's no rash. My theory--I think it is now being stretched to accommodate my belly's need to continue to grow. My hips had started to itch the same way when the skin there started to stretch. Can't blame my body for being resourceful.

My knee and ankle joints ache whenever I stand up, and standing up takes quite a bit of effort. I no longer waddle; I shuffle across the room barely lifting my feet. When I lay down in bed, I feel like I am weighted down by the belly. Rolling over takes extreme effort and leaves me out of breathe. I can only stay on one side for an hour max, sometimes less. Getting the energy to get up to go to the bathroom takes about ten minutes of me panting before I can heave myself up out of bed. All the discomfort has made me a less than pleasant person to be around.

Okay, now I am depressing myself. I will make it 4 more weeks! The babies, the uterus, and I can do this! I feel the babies hicupping all the time now, and it is a lovely feeling. It balances out at least half of the pain.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Let's Play Hungry, Hungry Hippos

The weekend is over, thank goodness. Yes, the visit from the in-laws was as painful and stressful for me as I imagined. I tried to suck it up for H, because at the end of the day, no matter how much he also complains about them, they are his parents and I know he needs them. I may have lost my ability to complain about them at all for awhile anyway, but I'll save that reason for the end.

MIL behaved as she always does, giving us millions of suggestions for how to live our lives while sitting on her butt as H did all the work of feeding and serving her and FIL. Boy, can those two eat. They eat in a weekend what it takes me and H a week to finish. They are not exceptionally big people either. They have your typical mom and dad bodies--a little soft around their middles but not obese or anything. Whenever they are at our house, they will eat what is on the table until it is gone, no matter how much we cook--and H and I always cook way more than we need. The in-laws just sit and eat and eat and eat, picking until every last bit is gone. (Which is why their request for Easter dinner leftovers was particularly funny to me--they never leave leftovers on our table.)

The best part is, they never have food in their own house. When we visit them, we're on our own. If we buy something to eat while we're there, they'll eat it themselves unless we literally hide it. When they cook a family meal, it's awkward because food will often run out before it's reached everyone. Maybe they eat so much at our house because they haven't eaten all week at their own?

Anyhow, we had asked MIL to bring a dessert and stuff to make a salad. H went ahead and bought a large amount of salad stuff that we would eat during the week anyway, just in case she didn't bring enough. Good thing. MIL's idea of bringing salad was a bag of baby spinach (which was big enough, I'll admit) and a bag of dried cranberries. No tomato, no mushrooms, no cucumber, or any other typical salad item. As she started to put the items she brought in the fridge, she asked H whether she should add tomatoes to the salad. Sure, H said, did you bring any? "No, I'll just use yours," was her response as located the ones we had in the fridge. H ended up adding a few other things of ours as well to make it a real salad. As for dessert, she did bring a container of mixed fruit and a dessert bread that she made herself--a first.

At dinner, they performed their usual feeding ritual, helping themselves to second, third, and fourth servings long after my parents and H and I had stopped eating. Only this time, I also loaded up my own plate so that H and I would have something for the next day. I figured they wouldn't take food off a pregnant lady's plate. As soon as he was done eating, FIL asked where we had hidden the Easter candy he knew we had. Then we had dessert. Again, MIL and FIL helped themselves to multiple servings of cake and bread, along with the fruit. Really, I don't see where they put it all!

We did manage to have leftover side dishes, which H made a point of claiming as ours for the next day. So, when MIL and FIL left on Sunday, they only took their remaining fruit with them. This, of course, was after H made TWO breakfasts for them, one small one before church and one large one after church. They finished two full-size cartons of orange juice and two pots of coffee (minus the one glass of each that H had at each sitting.)After the second carton of OJ was gone, MIL eyed H's still-full second glass and asked if she could have it. H told her that there was a third carton in the fridge is she wanted to go get it, but she declined. How are these people such bottomless pits?? One of those cartons would last us a week. At the in-law's house, they rarely have any OJ in the morning, and if they do have it, they yell at H for pouring himself a glass in a normal-sized cup rather than the itty bitty juice glasses they have. No kidding. Anyhow, at the second breakfast, H commented that he had made so much that there would be enough for me to have during the week. Hardly. That comment slowed them down so that there was a single serving left, but if he hadn't said something, that would have been gone too.

With all the eating came a lot of dirty dishes, and the in-laws were no help in that area either. H was on his feet in the kitchen all weekend long when they were here, constantly serving and cleaning up after them. MIL made several remarks that she would help put away dishes but she didn't know where anything went. Um, how hard is it to figure out where our dishes, glasses, and utensils go? We keep a very organized kitchen. It's not some secret lair. And if she can't empty a dishwasher for us, then what the heck kinda help does she intend to offer us when she says she'll stay with us to help with housecleaning once the babies are born?
As usual, the guest bathroom was disgusting after they left after only 24-hours usage (I'm talking gross smears on the toilet seat that weren't cleaned up) and they didn't bother to bring down their towels or sheets for washing. (They sleep in separate guest rooms when they are here so that we have twice the sheets to wash, saying our double beds are too small for the two of them to sleep together. Yet these are the beds of my grandparents and parents, who were always fine in double beds and are no smaller than them.) Now, when they are our guests, we never expect them to change the bed sheets anyway, but as people saying they were here to HELP US OUT, I'd sure like to know what part of the weekend constituted as help.

To top it all off, MIL tells H that she and FIL are planning to visit us again in 2 weeks. H said no. He said that with me being out of commission and the babies arriving soon, he really doesn't have the time to be getting extra food for their stay and cleaning up after them.

And then they tell H that FIL has early stage prostate cancer, and will be having surgery a week from tomorrow.

Hello, guilt trip.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Issues Down Below

Thank you all for your comments. I answered the questions about my size/belly in the comment section of my last post--hope the info is helpful!

So, today I've just had that ain't doin' right feeling in the gastronintestinal area. This is some major TMI, so click away if you need to. Basically, I thought I was getting hemorroids a few weeks ago due to some bleeding, but it went away after 2 days. Today it was back with a vengeance, as I put on my very own version of Terrance and Phillip's Arses of Fire (I admit to loving S.outh Park, even though I once thought I was above the crude bits.) I actually blew blood out of my behind as a result of some excessive gassiness. My reaction was one mixed with horror and hysterical laughter. Luckily I was in the loo at the time so there was no mess to clean up. Could have been much worse as I am wearing white linen pants today! Overall, my bowel movements have become, shall we say, much looser, combined with a teeny bit of cramping, so I'm concerned that this is a sign of my body starting to consider preterm labour. My next appointment isn't until next Friday, and boy do I wish I had a cervix check between now and then.

Anyhow, on to a different type of crappy situation. (Gosh, I'm usually much more refined than this.) My in-laws. So here's what went down. It was everyone's understanding that when they came down for my shower a few weeks ago, that would be the last we saw of them until the boys were born. Well, two weeks ago MIL called H and proposed that they come down Easter weekend to cook us dinner on Saturday (why not the actual holiday on Sunday, I don't know.) H felt that the right thing to do would be to accept his mother's kind offer since we would not be able to attend my family's Easter festivities (too far away). It all seemed innocent. H suggested that we invite my parents as well since this would take place on Saturday, and we'd have a nice family Easter dinner afterall. I was a little uncertain about having guests at this point, but figured it couldn't hurt if they were going to do all the cooking.

Wwell, H's mom then asked that we supply the main course, such as a ham, duck, or lamb, and she would provide all the sides. Hmm. This deal was starting to look less appealing. If H and I had wanted to put on a big course, we would have suggested it. But we didn't. Still, H said okay, we'd figure out the main course of the meal and MIL would do the rest. Well, we couldn't have ham because of my excessive swelling and my parents aren't really duck/lamb kinda people. So the more we talked about it, the more frustrated we became. This was exactly what we didn't want--we had planned to spend Easter alone, not worrying about planning some family dinner. We considered ordering from Bosto.n Market for a moment, then got irritated that the in-laws could do that just as easily as we could-- so why didn't they? Then, MIL told H that it would be easier for him to provide the sides and they would just bring a dessert. What had started out as an offer to feed us turned into us cooking for them, like we always do.

As we talked about this over the next few days, H came down with a bad cold and was out of commission all weekend. Which meant nothing on our still large to-do list for the babies got done. H acknowledged that he simply did not have time to be planning a meal the following weekend when he'd have to catch up on his work. We questioned whther we really even had time for overnight guests, especially knowing that the in-laws would not pitch in while they were here and would only create a messy house for us to clean up after they left. I was starting to get very cranky about it. Still, H didn't feel we could tell them not to come since it was Easter.

Meanwhile, my parents had initially resisted our invitation because they did not want to impose two more people on us. Still, H was adamant that if his parents were coming, they should come too, and I agreed. There's a longer story here, but I'll save that for later. Basically, my parents were annoyed that the in-laws basically invited themselves, while they themselves had been planning to bring dinner to us or take us out. They were not going to treat the in-laws though. (They really don't like them based on oh-so-many things.

Finally, H and I decided that we would do a pot roast in our slow cooker, because it would be quick to prepare and would feed everyone without creating a big mess to clean up. When MIL heard this, she was quick to express her disappointment that we weren't having something "more substantial." She then told H that she was hoping he would make something that she and FIL could take home as leftovers the next day. W....T...F.....?!?!?!? If anything, wouldn't you want to leave your son and pregnant wife the leftovers when he is doing everything around the house while I'm pretty much out of commission? What is wrong with these people???

H made it clear to his mom that we were having a small, casual dinner, nothing more. He told them what time to come in the afternoon, and when MIL said that they might arrive early in the morning, he told them that would be fine because he would have plenty of work them to do around the house. (I'm betting they'll be late for dinner, now!)

Meanwhile, my mom had told us she was going to make a homemade cake (not carrot!) for the dinner, and when H told MIL as much, she questioned whether she needed to bring anything at all. Nice huh? Well, H put her in charge of salad and an extra dessert. We'll see if she brings it. MIL also questioned why my parents would be coming over and was surprised we weren't going to their house for dinner the next day. Um, hello--we explained that I could not travel 90 minutes by car anymore last month. H told her that were were probably not even going to church the next day because my mornings have been pretty rough. I'm hoping she's getting the point that we're not really up for their visit right now.

This whole thing is like the shower, when MIL said she wanted to host one at my house and then told my mom that there was nothing she could do to contribute when it became a joint shower. So, she got credit for being a co-host while my mom did all the work, with help from H and my dad. MIL didn't even show up to the shower until a half hour before it started, once everything was already set up. She had promised to get there 3 hours early and didn't. Now she's got an Easter dinner planned for her and FIL without her having to do anything but show up.


Tuesday, April 03, 2007

32 Weeks and Holding

Hooray--it's April and I've made it to 32 weeks! I've had two doctor's appointments since my last post, and both times my cervix was nice and closed and everything looks good. Baby B has flipped to breech again, but the docs actually think a vaginal delivery is the way to go for me based on Baby A's good position. I've decided not to really think about it at this point. I've done my reading and research, and whatever happens, happens. Both escape routes are going to give new definition to my understanding of pain, so as long as the babies are okay it doesn't really matter to me.

This past week, I had another little growth spurt as my appetite was huge and my belly skin itched like never before. When things settled down, I found that my underbelly had grown a reinforcement structure of thick skin/muscle to support my extended belly, which is now truly horizontal to my legs and sticks out far enough to look cartoonish. Amazing what the body will do. I'm actually quite pleased with my little body for how strong it has been through this entire process. It reacted well to the IVF cycle, it avoided morning sickness despite some crazy high hormonal levels, and it has expanded to a size I never thought possible. Despite the not being able to get pregnant naturally issue, I'm quite pleased with how it has responded to all the curves it's been thrown this year. Let's hope it can keep this stamina up for a good delivery and recovery.

There are a few other things on my mind, like how my annoying in-laws have invited themselves down this weekend so we can cook Easter dinner for them, but I don't want to be negative right now. I'll see how the weekend goes and then complain...

There's also good news on the au pair front. After being torn between two au pairs, the first one I originally blogged about decided to accept our offer and we have made the necessary arrangements to have her arrive this summer. I'm a little nervous, but I think this will be the best childcare solution for us with two babies.