Sunday, August 05, 2007

In the Middle of the Night

Just sitting here listening to the twin formerly known as Baby A making raptor noises in his sleep. H can somehow sleep through the little chirps and squacks he makes but I can't. The boys are about to turn three months, and I have one month left of maternity leave. I know that I'll just be starting to find the babies really interesting when it's time for me to leave them all day for work, and that sucks. I'm feeling some guilt about going back to work, but it's not like it's a choice--we can't afford for me to stay home. Our au pair is working out nicely and I think she'll do very well with them. I hate the idea of her spending more time with them than me though. She's overly helpful in some ways, and so when the day is over and she should be officially off duty, I get a little peeved when she still runs to them when they make any little noises. I shouldn't feel this way...I mean, shouldn't I be relieved there is someone to help my one crying baby while I'm tending to his crying brother? I just feel like I should be doing it all.

I'm still trying to feel like a real mom. I just don't know what to do sometimes, especially as I'm trying to get the babies to learn to take their morning and afternoon naps in their cribs instead of their bouncy seats. I feel incompetent. They both with be sound alseep in their bouncy seats, but the moment I try to lay them in a crib they scream bloody murder. At least we have a good bedtime routine and they go to sleep fairly easily in their cribs at the same time every night. The nights are still rough with lots of awakenings (hence this post), but they are starting to go for longer stretches without feedings at night.

Any advice on getting twins to nap in their cribs is greatly appreciated. I'd be happy to show the twins firsthand how it can be done as I am sleep deprived and find their crib ensemble soft and appealing, but I don't think that would work.


Suzanne said...

I've got a similar issue with my 9 week old - except she'll only sleep for an extended nap when someone is holding her but has a good nightime routine.

I'm starting slow - just enforcing one nap in the crib until she will take good naps in there consistently. What I've been doing is putting her down - if she makes noise and fusses but doesn't cry I leave her, if she cries I will pick her up console her and when calm put her down again. Sometimes it takes a few cycles of this but eventually she does get tired enough to fall asleep.

Laura said...

I had a terrible time getting my girls to take naps - I did not know where to start! The book that saved my life (and sanity...and marriage!) was called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Md Weissbluth (available on Amazon); I began using it around 4 months when I could take the sleep deprivation no longer. Get it from the library and see what you think!

Jena said...

Hi Emmie! I'm glad to see you're looking well again :) Your boys are so cute!

On the napping thing... why the big push to have them nap in their cribs? Eloise takes most of her naps in the swing or in my lap... ok, so napping in my lap isn't the best habit to start, but napping in bouncy seats doesn't sound bad.

Just like older guys nap in recliners in front of the TV, just think of the bouncy seats as little training-recliners!

Jennifer said...

I don't have much great advice, as I am in the same boat as you. Apparently, their cribs are made of lava and fire because my twins scream too when they are put in them! I try to get them to nap in them, but their naps are so much shorter when they are in the crib. Like 20 minutes. So at nap time I pick their bouncy seats or car seats or other places because when you get down to it, I need them to sleep for an hour or two and not twenty minutes. My theory: We are going to get them on a schedule first ad them worry about WHERE they are sleeping later.

And if you had one baby you (and I) would be doing it all, I am sure. It is IMPOSSIBLE to do it all with two babies. Impossible. We can't possibly take care of the needs of both babies. It takes two adults to take care of one baby stands to reason that two babies needs FOUR adults.

I know how you feel, and it is so easy to beat ourselves up all the time, but we realy need to accept the fact that we are doing the best that we can. Two babies at the same time is just so so hard. Not only are we adjustign to motherhood, we are also recovering oursleves. And your recovery is so much harder and rougher than the average recovery.

I still feel like a fake mom too. My friends say this is normal ad we will feel liek real moms I the future.

Oh and the night wakenings are getting better for us. My twins are 9 weeks (and a half!) and they are getting up twice a nigt at thispoint. I try to get them tobed around 8/9/ They wake at 12/1 and then at 3/4. They start their little days around 5/6, occassionally 7. So it is rough still but def. getting better.

Hang in there. You are not alone!

Anonymous said...

Hi Emmie - I have 10 wk old b/g twins. I found your blog through cyclesista.

A couple of thoughts on the napping - 1st you could try to move them in their bouncy seats into their cribs and then slowly transition them OR you could not let them fall asleep in the bouncies. I started napping my twins in their cribs about 2 weeks ago, and I make sure as soon as they appear sleepy (or even before -after about 90 minutes of wakefulness) I swaddle them and lay them in their cribs. They each have something to look at (a mobile) and then I leave them to fall alseep on their own. There's a "magic minute" with babies where they can easily soothe themselves to sleep.

Have you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby? I would highly reccomend it - between that and our scheduled 3 hour feedings it's brought some routine and sanity to our day!!

Also check out - they have a great forum for the first year with twinfaants with lots of great advice and experienced twin moms willing to answer all your questions. It's been a lifesaver as well!

Best of luck, and email if you'd ever like to chat about the challenges and joys of raising twins!


GLouise said...

Good to hear from you! Hang in there! :-)

Kerry Lynn said...

I'm workign on the day napping thing too. I have always let them fall asleep where they happened to be...pnp, play mat, bouncy seat. Now when I notice them starting to doze off I pick them up and put them in their crib. My son does great with it...falls asleep without a squak. My daughter will squeal but within minutes she passes out. sadly the nap doesn't always last a long time. I heard that if a baby wakes 30-45 mintues into a nap that they're not actually done with the nap and need to be put back to on earth do you do that??
I feel like I wasted my whole day today trying to get them to sleep and stay asleep!

hope548 said...

Sorry, I've got no advice. Thanks for the photos, the boys are beautiful! I'm glad you're doing so well. You will feel like a mom eventually. I'm sure everyone feels incompetent the first time around!