Monday, June 04, 2007

The Dream Turned Nightmare, part one

I want to try to get out what I remember as best as I can in a stream of consciousness. Apologizing now for all typos and poor writing.

May 8, Tuesday morning at 3:00 a.m., feeling pretty awful. Get up to go the bathroom. Heavy watery discharge then the release of a lot of mucuos. The mucuos plug? Water breaking? Not sure. Wake H. Call the doctor. Doc says to come to the hospital to be sure. Needed to be there that morning early anyway for 12:00 planned C-section. Debated calling and waking parents. Decided to call them and let them know we were headed out.

By 4:30 a.m. hooked up to monitors in labor and delivery triage room. Nurse determines water had not broken, but contractions starting and very painful. Doc on her way. Told the C-section would be moved up to 9:00 a.m. H calls my parents with update--there already on the way. Doc arrives. Now it's sometime around 6:00 a.m. Suddenly told the C-section is going to happen now. I'm in the OR. Get the spinal. Painless. I hold H's hand.

Baby A (Zachary) is born at 6:35, 5 pounds 11 ounces and 19 1/4 inches. He is in some distress and is whisked away to the NICU. I didn't see him.

Baby B (Alexander) is born at 6:37, 5-10 oz and 19 1/4 inches. He is cleaned up and brought to rest on my shoulder. He sucks my face as I greet him--Hi, Baby! Then he is put in the incubator by my side for a bit. H has gone to check on Baby A, who is fine but being monitored. H goes back and forth between us. We're asked if we know the names for each baby. Say we have names picked but I need to see Baby A first to figure out who should be who.

I ask for an ice chip but am denied. They don't want anything in my system...something appears to be wrong. Doc tells me I may need a hysterectomy (which did not happen). I think...What?? Inside panic but too weak to ask why or what's going on. Whatever you have to do I say.

Everything goes black.

I hear a woman calling my name sharply. I open my eyes and see a doctor hovering over me that I don't know. She says in the same urgent voice--Do you know where you are?? I give the name of the hospital. Do you know what happened to you? I just delivered twins through a C-section I say. She keeps repeating, "No, do you know what happened to you? Do you know where you are?" Meanwhile both of my hands are being slapped by nurses on either side of me and I feel attempts at needles being poked into the veins. We can't get any veins they're yelling. I think that's odd--my veins are usually so good. The jab me up and down the hands and arms until finally they get IVs in both. Everytime I start to close my eyes my name is called sharply and I'm asked the same questions. I see bags of blood being hooked up. The doctor yells that they're going to need more blood products; there's no time to wait. I'm told I'm in intensive care in critical condition.

I have no idea what has happened. I now know my blood wouldn't clot and I was bleeding to death. I'm told they call it DIC. They were close to losing me. If it hadn't been for the ICU doctor's fast action...

Once I am stabalized I'm brought to a room in the ICU. I don't remember much of anything else about the day. I know I wanted to see Baby A so badly. I ask how he is doing and am so relieved to hear he is out of the NICU and is absolutely perfect. Both babies are strong and healthy. H promises to hold off giving the names until I've gotten the chance to see both boys and decide. He spends the night with them in the maternity ward while I'm in the ICU.

I grieve not seeing my first son the day he was born, but I am so happy he is okay.

9 comments:

Motel Manager said...

Wow...this sounds so terrifying! I am glad you're here to tell the tale!

Sunny said...

Oh my gosh! What a story. I am so glad you are fine and your little ones are prefect. But what a scary experience.

Mama2BandT said...

How scary is that? The longer you remained in the hospital, the more scared we became for you...anxiously awaiting the story and so happy you're okay and home w/ your family you've always dreamed of...question did the md's tell you if this was likely to happen again if you two chose to have more children?

Melissa said...

Wow Emmie. Sooooo glad you're ok. You sure are a strong woman.

Michelle said...

Oh, Emmie. I am so glad that you're going to be okay. And I know this is just the beginning of your ordeal (part one). Wow. Kiss those little baby boys for me - they are so lucky to have their mom!!!

utRus said...

whoa. that's heavy. you're a god writer. i am glad your babies are ok and that you're recovering. keep up the good work, warrior woman.

hugs

Jacquie said...

Oh my goodness you have had quite the journey.

Take care of yourself.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

What an experience! You are an incredible woman and I wish your family all the best!

GLouise said...

Oh Emmie, your story gives me chills! I am so happy that you are at home, and healing. I said several prayers for you that Tuesday, but of course, had no idea what you were going through....so happy that you are still here, and getting better! What a frightening experience.