Friday, March 16, 2007

Shower and Stuff

It's been awhile since I've posted because I've just been so tired. I worried at first that I would be a little lonely and bored working from home, but work has been so busy that my days go by just as quickly, only without the stress of the commute. Having the ability to take my mandated rest periods during the day has been wonderful. I get more accomplished after getting rest, and I feel like I'm doing the best I can for the babies.

So...the shower. It really ended up going pretty well, considering all the drama leading up to it. There were so many people there that no one person could really talk to me that much for any length of time (which meant no deeply personal things could be discussed), and there were no awkward questions about my twins being natural or anything. Thank goodness for that. I was worried that H's parents would slip up again and talk about our infertility like they talk about the weather, but they were on their best behavior, at least from what I could see.

The shower brought on some new dimensions to my relationship with my mom, which was a pleasant surprise. She came down the day before the shower to start setting things up at my house, and she told me that she too was worried that H's family would bring up IF. She told me how upsetting she was finding it when she would tell people about her expected twin grandsons and they would come right out and ask about infertility treatments and IVF. She said she was shocked at how rude strangers can be. I think it started hitting home for her what H and I have been going through, and more than that, I think she took personal offense to people's callousness in asking these types of questions since she herself is a twin. The "are they natural" questions seemed to bring her particular pain, as she could have been the target of those questions herself had she been born a few decades later. No one should be described as "natural" or "not natural." My mom is a chatty person--she'll tell anybody in the supermarket line that her daughter is having twins. Her recent experiences have bothered her so much that she said she's stopped talking to people in situations like that.

My mom also got to see how different a twin pregnancy is from a singleton one. She went to my doctor's appointment with me Friday afternoon, and I think it was eye opening for her to see the difference between me and my sister, who is about 2 1/2 weeks behind me. The impact this pregnancy is having on my body compared to the impact my sister's pregnancy is having on her body is remarkable. My mom saw first hand how many extra precautions the docs are taking with me and just how hard it really is for me to move around these days. She got to see the babies on the sonogram--her first time seeing something like that. I think it was very eye opening for her to actually see them on the screen, in ying and yang style, moving all about. Since the appointment she has been much more protective of me and more understanding of my physical limitations.

The day of the shower itself was very nice--we had perfect weather--and H was a good enough sport to stick around and help me open the massive pile of presents, almost all in duplicate. Poeple were extremely generous, and for that we are extremely humbled and thankful. I had a hard time keeping my energy up for the whole thing (which is why H was helping me) but I really did have a nice time. The cake H ordered on behalf of his mom was lovely and chocolate...absolutely perfect. The food was all wonderful and all the pregnant ladies could eat it.

There were a few funny things that happened that I should share, but I'll have to save them for later.

Hope all is well with everyone. I have an appointment with the peri later today so will report back with any news. Hoping the babies are still right on track at 29 weeks!

5 comments:

luolin said...

I'm so glad the shower went well and that your mother is getting a clue in general.

Lara said...

Hi Emmie! Im so glad things are going well for you! Its great that your Mother has had her eyes opened about how it feels to be an infertile, well at least partially! Your shower sounds like it was a lot of fun! Im so happy for you! :)

Isabel said...

Sounds like you had a great shower! I'm so happy to read about your experiences with your mom. That must be healing: how wonderful!

The Town Criers said...

I'm so glad that you had a good shower. And it sounds like a good time with your mum as well. Unfortunately, that question never stops being asked. The twins are now 2 1/2 and people still ask us when we're in line at the store.

A, B & C said...

I'm kinda a lurker on these blogs... my husband and I were trying to conceive for almost 3 years. We were very quiet about it, even on the internet. I think it's great you're sharing your story for others. I read all about your shower and it sounds like some of the drama that went along with mine, except the part of your mother was played by my British neighbor (sadly and sometimes happily, both my Mom and MIL are 3000 miles away in the US). My neighbor couldn't understand the cold cut thing either. People who haven't waited a long time for a baby just don't understand that we deserve a wonderful stress-free shower (and full of foods we can have) for just us.
Months later, I can report that she still doesn't understand me wanting to take care of my daughter "just so". Soon you'll be a first time Mom, so feel free to be as careful and paranoid as you want! Your struggles earn you the right! :)