Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Getting Overwhelmed

I’ve still been depressed the past few days. Maybe it’s the hormones kicking into high gear combined with the frigid weather we’re having. The fact that I’m outgrowing all my clothes much faster than I would like doesn’t help. I don’t want to spend more money on outfits, but I see little choice. Since everybody in the freakin’ fertile world that I know is pregnant at the same time as me, I can’t benefit from any borrowed clothing.

I’m getting a little apprehensive about the cost of my maternity leave (I’ll be off unpaid for 4 months) and all the things we need to pay off/buy before the babies arrive. I was hoping for a super huge tax refund thanks to all my IVF bills this year, but no such luck. We spent a lot on medical care/meds, but not enough to qualify to get any of it back. We’ll still probably get a little refund, but it will probably get spent before the check even clears.

H and I have made an appointment to meet with an au pair coordinator. We’ve been thinking a lot about our day care options, and we think an au pair will be the best solution for twins. I like the fact that it means the twins won’t have to leave the house every day when they are so tiny, and the cost is more reasonable when compared to day care for two infants under 2. I’ll pay whatever it takes for good care, but even finding some place that would have two spots open for infants is very unlikely.

I’m a little nervous about having a stranger come live with us for a year, but H and I have a lot of international friends and we enjoy other cultures, so having an au pair seems like a good fit. I also like that it will give us a chance to really work together with one person who will be caring for the babies, unlike at a day care where turn over could be high and the babies wouldn’t get as much one-on-one attention. I just wonder what having another adult living in the house will do to my relationship with H. We really value our privacy and private time, and I wonder if it will be just too overwhelming having a person in our home full time as we adjust to the babies. Maybe we won’t have time to care—after all, what kind of private time will be left anyway while we scramble to feed and care for the twins? I just worry that we won’t feel comfortable talking as intimately about things with a stranger around. At the same time, knowing we have an extra set of hands around will be a comfort. Any thoughts on au pairs???


Isabel said...

I was an au pair, and I worked for a company that placed au pairs in the US called au*pair*care.

As an au pair in France, I had a wonderful experience. My agency was great.

Working for the U.S. agency: well, it sucked. Basically you are very reliant on the au pair's local company contact if anything goes wrong, so you don't really have to deal too much with the company and it really comes down to if you like the field staff member. But from my experience with the head office, I'd choose a different company.

luolin said...

The people I know who have had au pairs never complained about the privacy issue, for what it's worth. The au pair will need some time to herself too...

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed, and I wish your M and MIL would get a clue and stop stressing you out. I hope you feel better soon--the pregnancy emotional roller coaster should go up too, right?

GLouise said...

Hmm, no tips on au pairs. It sounds like a good solution for your childcare though.

I do have one funny au pair story.

When I was growing up, our neighbors had a Swedish au pair. She was very gorgeous and young. One summer she scandalized our propah southern country club neighborhood by letting her charges run naked at the pool. Hilarious!

You sound stressed! Take care!