Monday, December 18, 2006

At Peace with 2006; Ready for 2007

I had a really great weekend. I decided to put all my stress aside and just focus on being in the moment for once. Being pregnant. Being excited for the holidays. Being myself with H again after a very rough year. It seems to be true that the second trimester really is the honeymoon period of pregnancy. I’ve had a few hours at a time where I’ve felt absolutely great—no fatigue, no unhappy stomach, no headaches. On Saturday morning, I felt so good when I woke up after sleeping in that I had to check my belly to make sure it was still there. It was, plus as I got ready to shower I saw I had developed another milestone symptom. The linea nigra had appeared—a faint, but unmistakable dark line running from my belly button to my bikini line. Hooray! I think I might actually believe I’m pregnant and everything might just be okay with the babies.

In that spirit, I laughed more easily this weekend, relaxed, and did all sorts of nesting activities around the house. We cleaned closets, organized junk drawers, gathered old clothes for donation, and chose a color for our new office, since the current office will become our nursery. H began prepping the walls of the new office for the new paint job. We plan to have the room finished over the holidays so that we can begin the nursery right afterwards, since we will know the sex of the babies on Wednesday! While H did the more intensive work that needed to be done around the house, I baked holiday cookies and listened to Christmas music. Such a peaceful time. We went out to dinner, did a little last-minute gift shopping, and generally just enjoyed each other’s company. I really just felt good to be alive.

So I’m going to try to cling to this peaceful feeling as we visit all my relatives this coming weekend and prepare for H’s parents to stay with us for a few days. I’m trying to keep my apprehension to a minimum. I’ve asked H to help me from getting worked up about the things his parents do that set us both off. I need to ignore it. Or at least not dwell on it. I also need to stop stressing about my parents’ expectations. I can’t make everybody happy all the time, right?

2006 was a very bad year in a lot of ways—I needed to find a new job because of deplorable working conditions (long story for another day), H and I were in an overseas car accident that left us very shaken up and wiped out most of our savings when insurance wouldn’t cover us, we were diagnosed with infertility, we had to struggle to make ends meet to pay for IVF meds while paying for unforeseen house emergencies, we went through the emotional strain of treatment while trying to protect our dignity from insensitive relatives, and H’s grandmother passed away the very day of our transfer.

Despite all this, 2006 has turned itself around into a very good year. I found a new job with amazing people and amazing benefits, H and I walked away from the car accident physically unharmed, we successfully went through treatment and became pregnant with two babies, I finished my master’s degree, and H and I have a plan to not only pay off our debt but actually save for the babies’ arrival, thanks to some serious budgeting, a few unexpected bonuses, and an inheritance we received from H’s grandmother. The most important part about 2006 is that H and I are entering 2007 as a stronger, more committed couple that has been tested and passed the strains of a very challenging year. After this year, I think we can get through anything together.


Anonymous said...

WOW! That is a whole lot for one year. I'm glad you are feeling better!

Anonymous said...

Beautifully stated; equally beautiful outlook. I wish you the best always, Emmie. ~Lisa

Hopeful Mother said...

Wow, it has been quite a year for you. You summed it up nicely.

I'm glad that 2007 looks so promising - those are all good things.

You sound like you are really adjusting well to your current reality and what you need to do to stay balanced. That is a hard thing to do. It's great that you can recognize all that you've been through and how it has affected you both.

Looking forward to learning the sexes of those little babies!!

Anonymous said...

It's so great to hear you sounding so positive. I've been following your story since my own positive beta, and I feel connected because I'm expecting two too, three days behind you. I'm hoping to start feeling better soon too!