tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post116252056377785712..comments2023-07-30T01:29:04.013-07:00Comments on Fertility Lost: A Reminder of What IF Has Done to MeEmmiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05398930191347461398noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162835411661739232006-11-06T09:50:00.000-08:002006-11-06T09:50:00.000-08:00I like GLouise's suggestion "How would you feel ab...I like GLouise's suggestion "How would you feel about a shared wedding?"<BR/><BR/>You should stick up for yourself and your feelings. You (and your sister) deserve your own *separate* time in the sun!Hopeful Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15339776324264791028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162717983341932452006-11-05T01:13:00.000-08:002006-11-05T01:13:00.000-08:00You make sure you have your own baby shower! You d...You make sure you have your own baby shower! You deserve attention solely on you for this one!Eggs Akimbohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12729283040825906242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162659132705383662006-11-04T08:52:00.000-08:002006-11-04T08:52:00.000-08:00Oh, Emmie! That sucks! And with twins for crimen...Oh, Emmie! That sucks! And with twins for crimeny's sake, you need your own shower! Hello!<BR/><BR/>Your dates are far enough apart w/her being in the middle of June that it isn't unreasonable to want one of your own. <BR/><BR/>I could write a post similar to that about my own sister who is 20 and currently studying in London, so not married or pg, but the feelings you described are so close to my own!<BR/><BR/>Stick to your guns on this one - I think you are perfectly within reason to want this. It hasn't been an easy road, to say the least. {{hugs}}Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162592771011523462006-11-03T14:26:00.000-08:002006-11-03T14:26:00.000-08:00A joint shower is not a good idea...truth is that ...A joint shower is not a good idea...truth is that people will be less likely to spend as much money on a gift if they have to buy two at the same time. Plus, what about the people that only want to buy you something??? I know I wouldn't have stood for it when I was pregnant. We have very similar ttc stories; I just found your blog today. Good luck!!Chastityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00630031458932527817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162586453759596832006-11-03T12:40:00.000-08:002006-11-03T12:40:00.000-08:00I don't think you're crazy at all. There's a lot ...I don't think you're crazy at all. There's a lot of deep-seated emotions involved with lots of history. I think you should just be honest about it. With all the friends you have, surely someone else will throw you a shower! I'm sorry this is so upsetting and I hope things settle down again soon.hope548https://www.blogger.com/profile/11951199252401108222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162575297507047722006-11-03T09:34:00.000-08:002006-11-03T09:34:00.000-08:00Ai yi yi!I would be TOTALLY annoyed. Not to mentio...Ai yi yi!<BR/><BR/>I would be TOTALLY annoyed. Not to mention, it is really early to even start thinking about baby showers. Most people I know don't have a shower til about 6 weeks away from the due date (of course, you'll prob want yours before that since you are carrying twins).<BR/><BR/>I would ask your sister how she would have felt about having a "double wedding." Not too many people like sharing the limelight.<BR/><BR/>AND I think it is a bit much to ask guests to bring THREE presents. And it could get really confusing, which gift goes home with whom.<BR/><BR/>AND do you guys have the EXACT same friends?<BR/><BR/>AND... your mother really should not be planning a shower for either daughter, if she wants to get really technical. It should be given by a friend of the family, otherwise it looks like a little funny. Tell her to read up on Emily Post. Grandmothers to be should only host showers if there are extenuating circumstances or if a family friend won't step up to do the job.<BR/><BR/>Huge hugs!!!! This too shall pass.GLouisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15146524259296901512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162571418008846632006-11-03T08:30:00.000-08:002006-11-03T08:30:00.000-08:00Grrr...I have the same relationship with my sister...Grrr...I have the same relationship with my sister. She's always been the closer one with my parents and my siblings (except for my twin) and it was always so frustrating. Then, I went and married someone NOT of my family's "faith" and that put the icing on the cake. It has not been pretty and she's gotten pg twice since I've been trying. I know it hurts. And it really sucks for you Emmie. Please know that your feelings are legit...Don't disregard that and think you're being selfish. You'r right-you worked hard to get to this point and you want that to be recognized and you want YOUR time. Totally understandable. I'd be having the same issue. I hope this finds a way to resolve itself. And thanks for the advice on the sperm issue! :) Good luck Emmie!Cody and Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03970538108643371737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162570203834021262006-11-03T08:10:00.000-08:002006-11-03T08:10:00.000-08:00I think your feelings are totally valid. I also t...I think your feelings are totally valid. I also think that it's weird for your sister to be spreading the news so early...even for a fertile, that's pretty aggressive. I hope for her sake that her pregnancy is smooth.<BR/><BR/>I would want my own shower, too. And, hell - you're having twins! So if you guys do a joint shower, people will have to come up with three gifts on that day, which seems like a bit much. I like Heather's idea of saying you want to throw your sister her own shower, and maybe that will give her the hint.Motel Managerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07713211390770892389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162566655373184452006-11-03T07:10:00.000-08:002006-11-03T07:10:00.000-08:00I had a mother like that as well - totally insensi...I had a mother like that as well - totally insensitive about others - always thinking what is expedient and convienent for herself. It tore me up every time I was with her. One visit with my mother - and I would spend weeks recovering.<BR/><BR/>Now, I have been immunized. No matter how much time I spend with her or what my mother does, I no longer get the emotional sickness of the past. Not only that, since she has perceived that I have changed - she has changed. There are times when we actually enjoy each other, and it is about time since I am 54 and she is 73.<BR/><BR/>I shall tell you the secret - take the immunization - it is called<BR/>"Forgive her".<BR/><BR/>Forgiveness is not a feeling - it is a decision - and when you decide to forgive, healing begins. <BR/><BR/>The Forgiveness of one mind heals two hearts. May God bless you indeed.Hepzibah The Watchmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17459404010681683434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162565922324213382006-11-03T06:58:00.000-08:002006-11-03T06:58:00.000-08:00Please stop. You keep putting down your feelings....Please stop. You keep putting down your feelings. If you feel them, they are valid, they are real. You don't have to justify them to anyone.<BR/><BR/>I think I would feel the exact same way. Those are your precious miracles and they deserve their own shower and time to shine! Besides, you are having two and she is only having one - you definitely need twice the gifts and cute outfits and moments in the spot light.<BR/><BR/>On the flip side - your sister is deserving of her own shower too. Maybe if you put it that way to them they might go with it? That you want your niece/nephew to have a grand shower of their own because you are happy for her (even if you aren't right then)... Just a thought.BigP's Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07124157582246972372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162558107487425032006-11-03T04:48:00.000-08:002006-11-03T04:48:00.000-08:00That's crappy, you're totally justified in wanting...That's crappy, you're totally justified in wanting your own shower. I wish your family was better to you.Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10545906016727771765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162540330960327332006-11-02T23:52:00.000-08:002006-11-02T23:52:00.000-08:00Having a joint shower probably seems like a great ...Having a joint shower probably seems like a great idea because of the timing of things right now. However, I bet when you're further along and especially since you have twins and will probably deliver early I bet the idea won't come to pass. Give it time. I think it's SHITTY for them to even consider a joint shower. Every girl needs her time to shine ALL BY HERSELF in the spotlight. I don't think you're being ridiculous AT ALL. The other day my sister said something about she thought she was prego (but ended up not being thank god). I felt a pit in my stomach the minute she said it. She already has 2 and is clearly fertile. I've been doing the IVF/IUI thing for a LOOOONG time and she knows it. She made a comment "KILL ME NOW IF I'M PREGNANT AGAIN". On one hand I would be VERY upset if she was pregnant because I'm trying to do that right now so desperately and she doesn't even WANT another baby and made that comment KNOWING how much I do want one. GRRR!! OK how did this story get into this comment? I don't know! Maybe it's just a sister thing and I was trying to point out that sibling rivalry can get the best of any of us!Larahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09865839583273375141noreply@blogger.com