tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post116221962166059540..comments2023-07-30T01:29:04.013-07:00Comments on Fertility Lost: Attack of the Rude RelativesEmmiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05398930191347461398noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-91810839372739784752008-11-05T20:43:00.000-08:002008-11-05T20:43:00.000-08:00I would give the gossip some "faulty intelligence"...I would give the gossip some "faulty intelligence" or maybe lie.<BR/>You could let it slip that you used a sperm bank and the donorwas someone of another race, and you're expecting quintuplets. The blabbermouth will end up with egg on thier face. Hey,she earned it. Things might be more interesting that way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162325223720323682006-10-31T12:07:00.000-08:002006-10-31T12:07:00.000-08:00What a cow! Why does she need to be the family gos...What a cow! Why does she need to be the family gossip? My mom did tell my extended family about my pregnancy (which ticked me off a bit because I was looking forward to telling them) - but at least she didn't feel the need to tell them exactly how we got to this point!<BR/><BR/>When you talk to your MIL I think you should simply say "I'm sorry we ever confided in you. We won't make that mistake again."<BR/><BR/>For rude questions from other people, I have no problem calling them on their rudeness "What a rude question" in a mildly shocked voice seems appropriate. If they persist, ask them if they would like to share the details of their sex life or embarrassing medical details with everyone.Jenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08209467363368685366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162316420814887322006-10-31T09:40:00.000-08:002006-10-31T09:40:00.000-08:00I have no wise ways of talking to relatives. I us...I have no wise ways of talking to relatives. I use the avoid method. Luckily we don't have family less than 6 hours away so we don't have to deal with them much. I'm sorry they suck.BigP's Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07124157582246972372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162312509024964702006-10-31T08:35:00.000-08:002006-10-31T08:35:00.000-08:00Wow, I'm sorry that H's mom took it upon herself t...Wow, I'm sorry that H's mom took it upon herself to share your personal information with the rest of the family. That was really out of line, and I'm glad to hear that H is going to call her on it. I think that's the best way to handle things: have him talk to her and re-explain that you've trusted her to respect your wishes not to share this information with others. As for this weekend, I would take the high road and pretend that she hasn't said anything. This is your good news to announce - don't let her ruin that for you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00498639599248269458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162263954969549872006-10-30T19:05:00.000-08:002006-10-30T19:05:00.000-08:00Oh what a pain! Big hugs, and deep breaths!Yes- th...Oh what a pain! Big hugs, and deep breaths!<BR/><BR/>Yes- the nosy relatives don't deserve a science lesson on how ivf works...I would just stick to my sweet little "twins run in the family" statement. I hate it when celebrities say that, but I think in your case, you need all the defense you can muster against your annoying relatives :-)<BR/><BR/>Hang in there, and try not to let them drive you too crazy.GLouisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15146524259296901512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162262241280597972006-10-30T18:37:00.000-08:002006-10-30T18:37:00.000-08:00I don't know how to handle your (H's) relatives, e...I don't know how to handle your (H's) relatives, except to never again tell his parents anything private. In general though, you don't have to share anything that you don't want to. Iff you don't want to lie or be direct about telling people upfront how inappropriate the question is, your "Wow..." response seems like a good answer. <BR/><BR/>I don't have the twins issue, but it is hard for me to remember sometimes that just because somebody asks a direct question, I don't have to answer it. People occasionally ask me about Mr. L's symptoms (they tend to assume it is a different, more common disease) and I tell them it is not my health information to share, but they can ask him if they want.luolinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00213308635831376287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162260596334088312006-10-30T18:09:00.000-08:002006-10-30T18:09:00.000-08:00Hi Emmie -It's Lisa checking in. I often still rea...Hi Emmie -It's Lisa checking in. I often still read your Blog to see how things are, and couldn't help commenting on this one.<BR/>I would absolutely discuss your thoughts about the situation with H's mom. I would do it in private, but I'd be stern and to the point. And as you know, talk about how YOU feel, e.g. "I feel disrespected when my and H's personal business is discussed." The minute you start off by stating You are such and such, she'll get defensive. Once you establish and state your boundaries with her (and the rest of the family) on this topic among other things, you may have to consistently remind them but eventually, out of respect if nothing else, they'll get it (you hope). <BR/>Other than that you sound good. I'm so happy for you (and those little ones). Take care. ~LAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162233028536116142006-10-30T10:30:00.000-08:002006-10-30T10:30:00.000-08:00I'd just smack her upside the head and tell them a...I'd just smack her upside the head and tell them all to stick it up their a$$. No, I'm not sure how I'd handle that, but I certainly wouldn't be looking forward to it. I'm glad at least you know what you'll be up against. Honestly though, all that matters now is that you are pregnant, who cares what it took to get that way. It's not your fault you needed assisstance. You're on your way and nobody can take that away from you. So try to be cool and you'll figure out what to do!<BR/>Good luck!hope548https://www.blogger.com/profile/11951199252401108222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162231791421489672006-10-30T10:09:00.000-08:002006-10-30T10:09:00.000-08:00Congrats on finishing the thesis! As for the rude...Congrats on finishing the thesis! <BR/><BR/>As for the rude inquiries, there is a thread on IVFConnections on the twin board about this. One recommendation I read on there that applies to pretty much any IF inquiry is, "I'm sorry - did you just say that out loud?"Motel Managerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07713211390770892389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162230216621822802006-10-30T09:43:00.000-08:002006-10-30T09:43:00.000-08:00LOVE your comment about the twins. That would be ...LOVE your comment about the twins. That would be great - if his mom starts to quiz you down (or either lame brother), inform them that you want to keep the rest of the details private since so much of your privacy has been invaded!<BR/><BR/>Yikes - I don't blame you for being furious. Some people are so clueless.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162225896256476052006-10-30T08:31:00.000-08:002006-10-30T08:31:00.000-08:00I am of no help here because I am just busy avoidi...I am of no help here because I am just busy avoiding people who bug me these days. <BR/><BR/>Good Luck with the nosy family types. <BR/><BR/>I'm sure someone will have some good advice for you.beaglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17627886826215379414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31275057.post-1162223163050338882006-10-30T07:46:00.000-08:002006-10-30T07:46:00.000-08:00I think I would just look at them with a confused ...I think I would just look at them with a confused look and ask "why?" when asked if you used fertility treatment. <BR/><BR/>And I would most definitely want to slap your MIL for breaking your confidence the way she did. That's just wrong.<BR/><BR/>Good luck with all of them and I'm sorry that you didn't get to tell everyone in your way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com